


Overheard Conversations

by MsAshlyjudd8



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-09
Updated: 2012-06-09
Packaged: 2017-11-07 08:34:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/429014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsAshlyjudd8/pseuds/MsAshlyjudd8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bella, overhears a conversation Between Edward and his family.  Can an angry Bella forgive him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Angry

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a little something I thought up. It takes place after Bella's, Newborn year.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 

B POV:

"Mmmmm," I hummed to myself happily. The bright sun felt wonderful as I laid on the floor of the beautiful meadow. My mood totally happy and serene. I was finally over my one year mark for being a newborn and allowed to hunt alone. I loved hunting with Edward, and even the family, but once in a while I liked to be alone and just relax.

After getting Nessie dressed this morning,Edward and I waited for Jacob to come and pick her up for the bonfire on the beach in La Push. Edward was going to spend the day with his brothers and father, in what Emmett was calling the "Annual Cullen Men X box bonding tournament." I laughed at the time but Edward seemed excited, and Jasper, as always, was up for the challenge. I kissed Edward and told him I wanted to spend the day alone in the meadow, to read and relax. Alice tried to persuade me to come shopping with the girls, but I told them I needed some alone time.

I had been in the meadow almost the whole day when I started to miss Edward. Standing and gathering my books, I tilted my face up to the sun and smiled. Life couldn't get any better then this. I had a wonderful husband, a beautiful daughter, good friends like Jacob, and I had my family. Nobody in the world was luckier then I was. With one last deep breath of the wild flowers of the beautiful meadow, I set off for home.

When I get to our empty cottage I ran inside to drop off my books and to change clothes. As I was leaving the cottage to go to the main house, I stopped and a huge smile spread across my face. I wondered what the guys had been talking about all day and wondered if it were possible to sneak up close enough to the house without being noticed, so I could listen. I was in the main house so much that if they smelled me they wouldn't think much of it. Edward couldn't read my mind, so all I had to do was keep my emotions on amused, and if Jasper caught it, he would think it was coming from Emmett.

With my plan in place, I decided to walk as gingerly as I could so they wouldn't be able to hear my footsteps. After only a few minutes of walking Emmett's booming laughter floated to my ears and I smiled. Leaping up into the tree, I found a branch big enough for me to sit on and got comfortable.

"Oh my god, your telling me when you put her down, and she spotted the bed, that she froze solid?" Emmett asked, and then burst out laughing. I heard a sharp smack and his laughter calmed.

Were they talking about me? I wondered and my eyebrows pulled together.

"This is great. Then what happened? I always figured you two wouldn't make it to the Island, before She ripped your clothes off," Emmett said, before another round of laughter.

My eyes grew large. They were talking about me. I felt suddenly angry. Edward knew how shy I was when talking about our sex life. Would he really tell his father and brothers about our first time? Maybe I was wrong, I hadn't actually heard Edward say anything. Maybe Emmett just guessed what happened...

"Her heart was beating so fast I thought she was going to have a heart attack, so I decided to give her some time alone and went for a swim while she took a shower."

Edward's voice was amused. My hand came up to cover my mouth, before I made a noise and they found me out. I could feel the anger slowly seeping toward rage.

"When she got out of the shower, I could hear her in the bathroom stalling. It sounded like she sat down on the floor and she was taking deep breathes. And, Just before she left the bathroom I heard her whisper to herself 'don't be a cowered.'"

All the men laughed then, including Edward. My body was trembling so bad with rage that the branch I was sitting on started to sway. How could he betray me like that? How could he make fun of me because I was scared? He was a virgin that night too. I have never made fun of him for it. Never once have I been embarrassed about our time on Isle Esme. Sure, we were awkward teenagers making love for the first time. Who wouldn't be scared?

My rage simmered into hurt and rejection.

Edward continued, but his voice seemed to mellow from amusement into sounding sheepish.

"The next morning when the sun came up, I noticed that she had some bruises on her body, and I sort of freaked out."

Carlisle's voice came next

"What do you mean bruises? Did you hurt her?"

I could hear four video game controls being set on the coffee table, the games forgotten.

"She had bruises on her arms and shoulders where my grip had been too tight. And, her lip was bruised. She tried to tell me she was fine, but I could tell she was lieing. She can't lie to save her life, So I told her I wouldn't make love to her again until she was changed. That's when she got mad..."

Edward trailed off when they chuckled.

"I still can't believe you were able to do it with a human. I wanted to kill her half the time she was here in the house. Her scent was so strong, I had to leave the house most of the time. Thank god, toward the end, while she was pregnant, her scent was over powered by that stupid mutt.

Jasper's words made my eyes prickle with tears, that would never come. I wondered briefly if the girls ever talked about me like this. I always figured that Carlisle and Esme would put a stop to conversations like this, they were suppose to be my mother and father. But, here Carlisle sat, listening and laughing about me like I was the laughing stock of the whole Cullen family.

"Speaking of the mutt," Edward cut back in... "You don't know how close I came to killing him, when he put his hands on Bella at the wedding. I sent him that invitation to let him know he could scamper off and lick himself or whatever the flea bag does when he is at home, and leave Bella alone. I didn't actually expect him to show up..."

Now the rage was back.

"Bella tried to act like it didn't bother her, that he had to be dragged away by the other flea bags, but I could tell she was hurt. I don't know what he has over her, or why she could never let him go. She actually thought his temper tantrum was her fault."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Would he never get over his aversion to Jacob? He is my friend and I didn't like to see him hurt. Was I such a bad person for that?

"I mean, You remember how mad she got when she found out about Tanya? She completely flipped out on me and Tanya and I never had anything going on. I never kissed her or hung around her much because I knew how she felt about me. I know how uncomfortable even speaking about Tanya makes Bella feel. Do you see me running off to Alaska every weekend because she is my friend? Do you see Tanya around all the time sneering hateful words at Bella, because she wants me?"

He was right. It hurt to admit it, but he was right.

My head drooped and almost all of the anger slipped away. It still hurt me that he would discuss our sex life like it was a joke. It hurt that Jasper, my brother, would talk about me behind my back. But, what he said about Jacob was true. I guess I didn't realize how much I hurt Edward every time I insisted on seeing Jacob. Sure, Jacob was my friend and I wanted to see him, but I knew how uncomfortable Edward was when I did, and I did it anyway. I knew how Jacob felt about me and I allowed him to rant about Edward every chance he got. I even willingly kissed him. My hands came up to cover my face. What the hell was wrong with me?

During my self hatred rant one of the guys cell phone's rang.

"Ha Ha Jazz, I bet that's Alice, and she wants you to unload the cars," Emmett laughed.

"Hey, tinker bell, whats up? Are you almost..." Jasper trailed off. "Wait, Alice, slow down, I don't understand you. Bella is sitting where?"

I gasped. Dammit, I forgot all about Alice. I jumped down from the tree and landed softly.

"Oh no," Where the last words I heard before I took off running. I didn't know where I was running to but it was dark and I didn't want to talk to any of them. I still had a little of my new born speed left so I knew I could get pretty far before they found me. Only minutes later I came upon the La Push border. The treaty was lifted for the Cullen's after Jake imprinted with Nessie, so I knew it wouldn't be a problem for me to cross the border. I knew everyone would be at the bonfire so I turned and ran toward the beach. I hadn't heard anyone behind me, but that didn't mean they weren't on the way, so I spend up. When I saw the flames of the bonfire through the trees, I slowed to a walk. Calmly, I walked out of the trees and headed to the circle around the fire pit.

A few heads snapped up when they smelled my vampire scent, but when they saw it was me, they smiled and nodded. I saw Jake sitting in the sand beside his father, who was in the middle of the Legends story. As I got closer everyone smiled at me. Billy looked up at me and smiled but continued his story. Very quietly, I walked over to Jake and sat down on my knees next to him. My beautiful Nessie was in his arms, fast asleep. When Jake finally realized I was there, his face lit up with a smile. "Hey Bells, Did you come to take Nessie home? She conked out about an hour ago." he whispered.

I shook my head and sighed deeply. Jake looked at me when I sighed and my eyes went to the sand. He knew something was wrong. He always knew when something was wrong with me. I felt Jake bump me with his shoulder to get my attention, so I looked up. His face was worried, but I knew I couldn't tell him what was wrong. That was the whole point of Edward's rant. If I had a problem I should talk with him about it. But I was still a little mad at all of them for laughing about my personal life, so I didn't particularly want to talk to him, or any of them right now. I didn't come here to rant to Jake either, I came her to see my daughter. She was the only one who could calm me down when my thoughts were running in all different directions.

"Bells, whats wrong?" Jake whispered. I smiled sadly at him and shook my head. "It's nothing, Jake. I'm fine." I tried to reassure him. I could tell he didn't believe me, but before he could press me on it, his head whipped around, and I looked up to see Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett and Edward walk from the trees. Everyone at the bonfire turned to watch them walking to the circle. Jake, turned back to look at me, but my head was lowered again.

"Dr. Cullen," Billy said, when he too noticed them getting closer, "It's good to see you. What brings you all out here tonight?"

I didn't look up but I could feel my family's eyes on me. I wondered what excuse they would tell Billy.

"Well, today was sort of a male bonding day for us since all the girls went shopping, so we wondered if we could join you all for your bonfire. Jasper and Emmett have not heard the story of your legends and I thought they might be interested. That is if it is alright with everyone?"

It was a lie, but Billy invited them to stay. I told the Cullen family the legend shortly after the newborn army attack. It was the only way to explain to Edward why I cut my arm while he was fighting Victoria. They all knew the legend well and were proud that Nessie was the newest addition to it.

Quil and Embry, who had been sitting next to me, moved to make room for the Cullen men. I flinched slightly when Edward gently touched my shoulder. He sighed and removed his hand, but sat next to me so close that his knee was touching my right thigh. Jasper sat next to Edward, and Emmett beside him. Carlisle sat behind all of us, on the sand. Once everyone was settled, Billy started where he left off in the Legend. After a few minutes had passed, Edward reached over to take my hand, but I moved it away. Again he sighed, and his head lowered. I wasn't ready to forgive yet, but this was not the place to deal with it.

Eventually Nessie started to stir, in Jacob's arms. I raised my head for the first time since Edward had arrived, to look at her. "Mama," Nessie said sleepily as she reached for me. I smiled when a few of the wolves chuckled. I reached for her and pulled her against my chest. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I kissed her cheek, as I gently rocked back and forth and she fell back asleep. As Nessie always does, she calmed my nerves and I was able to keep my eyes up. A few of the wolves were watching us and Emily winked at me. I smiled back at her the best I could. When her eyebrows drew together and she looked back and forth between me and Edward, I knew everyone must have noticed how cold things were between us.

Emily leaned over and whispered to Sam, that she was going to go for a walk and stretch her legs. Sam nodded and kissed her. She, rose up and stepped out of the circle, walking around to where I sat, and then she leaned down next to my ear.

"Bella, would you like to take a walk with me on the beach, while I stretch my legs?"

I loved Emily. She was always so kind and sweet. Jacob told me the whole pack consider her the mama bear. She cooks and cleans for them. She keeps clean clothes ready and waiting for each and every one of them. If there was anyone I could talk too it would be her. Very carefully I got to my feet, and without looking at Edward, I turned and fallowed Emily toward the beach. Nessie's hand rested on the back of my neck, so I could tell she was deeply asleep. She was dreaming about the day she spent with Jacob on the beach. He took her swimming and chased her up and down the beach all afternoon.

"Is everything Okay, Bella?" Emily finally asked when we got a little ways down the beach. I knew we were still close enough that Edward and his brothers and father could hear everything we said. I kept silent as we continued to walk along the shore. Emily didn't pry as I knew she wouldn't. Eventually I got up the nerve to start talking.

"Can I ask you a question?" I whispered. We stopped walking and she turned to face me.

"Of course Bella, you can ask me anything," 

"Um...I know Sam is the alpha if his pack, and Jacob refers to the other wolves as his brothers."

She nodded. "Yes, Sam is the leader when they are doing wolf business, but when they are together as humans, they are as close as brothers. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I was just wondering...Does Sam ever talk with them about your personal business?"

Her brows furrowed. "I'm not sure what you mean exactly. Can you be more specific?"

"What I mean is...does Sam ever talk with his brothers about when you two are...intimate?" I had never been so glad to be a vampire in my life. My face would have been tomato red.

"Oh," She responded, shocked. And then... "Ohhhhh," She said a bit louder, her eyes wide. Her eyes flew down the beach where the bonfire was and Edward still sat, and then back to me. In that minute I knew she put together why I was in a bad mood. She seemed to be searching for words to say. But, really, what could she say? She met me for the first time when Jacob, was in love with me. The same day I found out about the wolves.

"Okay," she said suddenly. "Let me see if I got this right. Edward, and his brothers and father had the day to themselves. You caught them talking about when you two were intimate, correct?" she asked.

I nodded. "Among other things. But it wasn't just that. When Edward and I were together for the first time, on our honeymoon, it was a first for both of us. I was a little scared and I kind of freaked out for a while when we first got there. Everything turned out great, but I..." I trailed off embarrassed.

"Oh honey, everyone is scared during their first time, it's only natural. That's nothing to be embarrassed about." She replied sounding more and more like a mother.

"I know that, and your right, but how would you feel if you caught Sam, with his brothers, laughing hilariously as he told them every detail? How would you feel if you listened to one of his brothers, tell him that he couldn't even stand to be around you half the time?"

She grimaced, but allowed me to keep talking.

"They are my brothers..." my voice cracked. "They are suppose to love me no matter what; Not laugh at me and make me feel like I am just some stupid human. If Edward could speak about me this way, with his brothers, It makes me wonder what my sisters say about me when I am not around."

God I sounded pathetic. I always thought becoming a vampire would make me strong. But here I am again, I feel like some stupid pathetic human girl.

"Do you love him, Bella?" Emily asked.

The question was so sudden that my breathe caught, and my chest felt tight. I looked down at my daughter sleeping innocently, and then back to Emily.

"I have loved Edward since the first moment I saw him. I love him with everything that I have inside me." My voice was only a whisper.

Emily, took a deep breath and then turned toward the water. Nessie's dreams changed from the beach to Jacob's house. I smiled a little as she dreamed about watching cartoons with Jacob and his father. She found it very amusing that Jacob, and his father laughed at the cartoon more then she did. I was watching along with her dreams until Emily turned back toward me.

"Bella, I know this doesn't excuse their behavior, but guys, no matter if their vampires, wolves or humans tend to talk about crude things. It does sort of shock me that Edward was apart of the conversations though. He always seemed like a proper gentleman." she trailed off chuckling. I gave her a small smile.

Could I really pass it off as male bonding? I knew that guys talked about sex. I just didn't like that my husband had made our relationship the main topic of discussion.

"For what it's worth..." Emily said bringing me out of my inner conversation. "When your family joined in beside you at the circle, they all looked ashamed," she laughed. I smiled again. When her hand came up to cover her mouth, and she laughed even harder, I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Your mad at Edward, for discussing your...sex life with his family right?" I nodded.

"I think you know what you have to do," She said, looking way too amused. I was just confused.

"I don't understand," I said, drawing my eyebrows together.

"Bella, the last time Sam did something to make me mad, he didn't get any for a good three weeks. If Edward thinks it's so amusing to discuss your sex life, then maybe you should see how amusing it is, when he doesn't have one at all."

A shocked sort of laugh bubbled up from my chest.

"I don't care if they are big strong vampires or wolves, we all know that the women hold all the power. I bet if you talked to Alice and Rosalie, and maybe even Esme, they would agree with you and probably give the same punishment."

We both laughed again, but I knew I was way too chicken to actually talk to my sisters about what happened. I felt lighter now, but I was still feeling a little hurt.

"Thank you for talking to me, Emily," I said, smiling. "Your welcome, Bella..." She turned to look down the beach again. "Looks like things are wrapping up, time to face the music my dear." She smiled and turned to walk back to the bonfire.

Most of the wolves were gone, except for Sam, waiting for Emily. Edward and his brothers stood next to Carlisle, and they were all listening as Billy told them of his and Jacob's afternoon with Nessie. They were all smiling but I could tell it was a little forced.

"Bells, you missed the story. What were you an Emily talking about?" Jacob asked.

Carefully avoiding my family's eyes, I smiled at Jacob, and his father.

"Oh, it was just a little girl talk," I replied. A perfect example, I thought, looking over to the guys. I knew how to keep things private.

"Thank you, Jake, for keeping Nessie entertained all day. She has been dreaming about you chasing her on the beach and watching cartoons with you and Billy. I'm glad she is asleep or I would never get her to come home," I chuckled.

For a split second I felt bad for having a normal conversation right in front of my husband and his family. Normally they would be apart of the conversation, or at least laughing with me. They knew they were in trouble and were correctly keeping their mouths tightly shut.

"Oh man, you should have seen her today," Jacob started. "That little monster kept me on my toes all day today, and when I did stop to take a break and catch my breath, she would call me an old man and take off running all over again." Jacob laughed and the smile on his face was so genuine, I couldn't keep from smiling back.

Billy picked up the conversation then, talking to Edward about watching cartoons with Nessie, after they made her lunch. He smiled and laughed when something was funny, but otherwise didn't say much. I noticed the way Jacob, kept looking between Edward and me. He knew something was wrong, and I could tell he wanted to ask, but when I slightly shook my head at him, he kept his mouth shut.

When everyone went quiet and we all stood in an awkward silence, I knew it was time to go home. Jacob kissed Nessie on the head and turned to push Billy's wheel chair up the beach. Without a word or even looking at my family, I turned and started walking toward the trees.

"Bella," Edward stopped me.

"What?" I said, turning around to glare at them. My anger was back.

Edward sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "The Volvo is up on the main road, if you want to ride back with us."

"Fine," was my short response, as I turned around and walked up the beach.

It was a little funny to see three big grown men scrunch in the back seat of Edwards Volvo. I didn't smile though. I opened the passenger side door and got in, not waiting for Edward to open my door like I usually did. Everyone was quiet until we were about to cross the La Push border.

"Bella I..." Jasper started, but I cut him off.

"I am not having this conversation right now. I just want to go home and put my daughter in bed."

Jasper sighed, but the rest of the car ride was silent. When Edward pulled into the garage at the main house, I opened my door and got out. I walked into the house not looking behind me. I walked through the kitchen, into the living room, passed the couch, where All the girls sat, and stopped at the back door. I turned to see the whole family standing around the living room. They were all watching me. I didn't know if they were expecting me to yell or scream or pick a fight, but I wasn't in the mood for any of those things. I wanted to be alone.

Alice looked sad, she knew what I was going to say. Rose looked angry, but not at me, she was glaring at Emmett. Carlisle and Esme looked worried. Jasper, as always, looked like he was going to be sick from all the emotions in the room. Edward looked like he had just lost his best friend. Very rarely did I ever get mad at Edward, and he hated it every single time. This time I had a very good reason to be angry with him.

"Look, it's late. I need to take Nessie home and put her in bed," I said to the room. And then I met, Edward's eyes.

"You should should stay in the main house tonight. I want to be alone."

Edward lowered his head, and then I looked in each of their eyes. Turning, I walked out the door and shut it behind me.


	2. Apologies

B POV

The walk to the cottage took longer then expected. Nessie was still deep asleep against my neck and I didn't want to disturb her. My emotions kept going back and forth between angry and sad, and I didn't want to worry her. A half hour after leaving the main house, I carried Nessie, through the cottage and into her room. Very gingerly I laid her in her bed and slipped off her shoes. She immediately curled up on her side and got comfortable without waking up. I pulled her blanket up over her small body and kissed her gently on the head.

After closing the door to Nessie's room softly, I stood in the dark hallway. The whole house was dark and I didn't even have the flickering orange of the fireplace for comfort. The house was silent and dark, and suddenly I wanted to cry. Usually Edward and I would put Nessie down together, and then either cuddle together in front of the fire place or walk to our bedroom, where we would talk or kiss or... no I couldn't think about that. Silently I turned and walked to the bedroom. Empty. No beautiful Edward laying across the bed reading. No Edward gently rocking in the rocking chair from my old bedroom. No soft romantic music playing, waiting for the romance that would fallow. The room was as dark and empty as I felt. Very slowly I walked over to the empty bed and crawled to the middle. I curled up on my side, pulling my legs up to wrap my arms around them, and then I wept.

I remember the first time I ever saw Edward. There was no question that he was unbelievably beautiful. If I had never found out he was a vampire, I would have just thought he was the strong, sexy, brooding type. He carried himself with an air of confidence, but at the same time you could tell he was dangerous. He was a mystery plain and simple. If I had remained plain simple Bella, far away from the beautiful Cullen family, I can only imagine what I would have thought about him. He could be the type of guy to make a girl work for his heart. He could have been the guy that could pour his heart out simply by looking in a girls eyes, and she in turn would crumble under his intense gaze. Just like I did.

A hundred beautiful girls. Cheerleaders, musicians, class presidents, popular and unpopular. He had the whole school to choose from, yet he chose me. Why? I would come to find out later that my blood appealed to him, and my silent mind made me interesting. Suddenly the strong, sexy, brooding Edward became the Dangerous Vampire who at one time wanted to kill me. The very same man who lovingly took me in his arms and treated me like I was the only person in the world. He would touch me as if I were a delicate flower or made of glass; that he could shatter with his bare hands if he were not careful.

He became my whole world. He still is my whole world. Granted I had never been in love before I met Edward, but I knew nobody had ever loved as hard and as deep as we did. Along with the love came pain. Edward hurt me when he left me, and I loved him still. I hurt Edward with the feelings that I had for Jacob, and still he loved me. That had to mean something right? If we could hurt each other so badly and still be madly in love, then why did this hurt so bad? Edward and his brothers laughed about our honeymoon. So what? Jasper told Edward that my human scent drove him crazy. I already knew that. Edward went off on a rant about Jacob. I already knew that Edward hated Jacob, that was nothing new.

"Mama?"

My eyes flew open, and I looked around confused. How long had I been crying? The room wasn't dark anymore. I had been so lost in thought and sobbing that the whole night has passed me by. Sitting up I looked over and found a very sleepy Nessie standing at the door to my bedroom.

"Morning baby, how did you sleep?" I asked trying to keep my voice calm. I didn't want her to know Edward and I were fighting. The look on her face was sad as she walked over and crawled into my lap. She reached up and touched my cheek and showed me that she had seen me crying. My head was buried against my knees and my body shook with sobs. "Whats wrong mama?" she asked me in her thoughts.

"It's nothing baby. Everything is fine I promise." I tried to reassure her, silently cursing myself for not being more aware that my daughter was asleep in the next room. Nessie didn't seem to believe that everything was fine, because her next question was about Edward.

"Where is daddy? He always makes me feel better when I am feeling sad. Like when Jacob can't come over and play because he is playing with the other wolves."

I had to smile. My beautiful Nessie while growing more and more each day still remained so innocent. She had no idea that Jacob wasn't "playing" with the other wolves. He was actually hunting rogue vampires and guarding the surrounding lands to keep us safe. I decided to side step the Edward question and distract her with the idea of spending the day with Jacob. I needed her far away from home for the day because I didn't know how it was going to go when I actually got up the nerve to go to the main house.

"Sweetheart, everything is fine I promise. How about we get you in the bathtub, and while you are playing, I will call Jacob and see if you can spend the day with him on the beach? Would you like that?"

I smiled when her face lit up and she jumped off my lap, running as fast as she could toward her bedroom. I knew she was rushing to get the large purple tub of bathtub toys that we kept for her. With a chuckle I went into the bathroom and started the bath water. While I waited for the large whirlpool tub to fill up, I walked to Nessie's room to pick out a t-shirt and shorts that she could run and play in, and casual enough that Alice wouldn't freak out if she got them dirty, which she always did. Nessie and Jake loved to sit on the beach all day building sand castles. I had laughed the first two times she was allowed to spend the whole day with Jake at the beach. Alice had dressed her both times in beautiful little dresses and both times she came home filthy. Alice's horror struck face had the whole family laughing for days.

Satisfied with the outfit I picked out, I turned, only to see the naked backside of Nessie run from the room with her tub of toys. A laugh suddenly burst from my lips and I had to cover my mouth with my hand. I will never forget the first time Nessie had done this. Edward had kissed the top of my head as I sat in front of the fire reading my book. He told me he was going to give Nessie a bath and put her to bed. Not five minutes later...

"NESSIE..." Edward almost yelled in shock. I looked up from my book confused.

"What in the world do you think you are doing young lady?" Edward shrieked. I started to stand from my chair, thinking something was wrong, only to hear a small giggle as a stark naked Nessie streaked down the hall, running around the couch and finally coming to hide behind my chair. All the while Edward was hot on her trail.

I burst into hysterical laughter and fall back into the chair clutching my hand over my mouth. It was seriously the funniest thing I had ever seen. Edward came to a stop in front of my chair with a look of utter shock. That only made me laugh harder. When my laughter turned into a snort Edward's eyes narrowed at me, which didn't help my laughter subside at all. Nessie giggled again at her father's antics and took off at a run back down the hall toward the bathroom.

Edward sighed and scrubbed his hand over his face, before turning and following her back down the hall. All was quiet for a few seconds as I tried to get my laughter under control.

A few seconds later..."NESSIE NO..." Edward shrieked again, right before I heard a loud splash of water and then Nessie was laughing again. I didn't know what was going on, so I stood and made my way to see what had happened. What I found in the bathroom made me gasp, and then I literally fell to my knees on the wet floor laughing harder then before.

After Nessie ran from behind my chair, she had run to the bathroom and climbed up on the side of the large bathtub waiting for her father to fallow her. When Edward entered the bathroom she took a flying jump into the bathtub full of water, soaking Edward from head to toe. His bronze hair lay flat against his head, his mouth was gaping open like a fish, and soapy water made his t-shirt and pants cling to his body. He stood frozen in shock, staring at a very innocent looking Nessie standing stark naked in the very center of the bathtub, now only half full of water.

I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my entire life.

With a smile I walked to the bathroom and found Nessie playing happily with her toys. "Baby, I'll be right back. I'm going to go call Jacob and see if it's alright for you to come over today. Please try not to make a mess." She smiled at me and kept right on playing.

Walking to the bedroom, I grabbed my cell phone and dialed Jacob's number.

"Hello" answered a very sleepy sounding Jacob.

"Morning Jake, were you still in bed?" I asked. The clock on the wall said it was just after 9 am.

"Hey Bells, Yea I'm awake, but I can't seem to find the energy to make myself get out of bed." he replied with a chuckle.

"I bet I could make it worth your while to get out of bed"

"Not likely, but give it your best shot. My bed is way to comfy and warm to get up right now"

"Well, I was thinking that Nessie could spend the day with you. I know she misses you and she had a blast yesterday."

I just hoped he wouldn't bring up the bonfire. He knew something was wrong when I turned up and then all the Cullen men suddenly showed up.

"That would be great Bella, but..." he trailed off

"But, what?"

"Well, after the bonfire, I asked Emily what you two talked about on the beach. I know something went down between you and Edward by the look on your face. The treaty may be void now, but I know the Cullen's wouldn't be caught dead on the res if they didn't have a reason to be there. I am not buying the story that they suddenly wanted to hear the legends Bella. Emily just smiled at me and told me to mind my own business."

Silently I thanked Emily for keeping our conversation a secret.

"Wanna fill me in on whats wrong?" he continued.

"Um...not really. Jake I just need you to take Nessie for the day. I have some things to work out here at home and I don't want her here in case it gets ugly." please say yes, please say yes.

"Bella, you are my best friend. I am not getting off this phone until you tell me what is going on." Jacob replied with the voice of authority he used with his pack.

Suddenly I felt an unreasonable spike of anger race through my body. Where did he get off? I was so tired of everyone in my life treating me like I was a small child. If it wasn't Jasper and Emmett laughing at me for something stupid, it was Edward telling me what I should or shouldn't do. And, now Jake was demanding to know about problems I was having at home. He had no right.

"You know what Jake, forget I called. I'll just call Charlie, I bet he would love to have a day with Nessie." I snapped back and disconnected the phone call.

Grinding my teeth together, I threw the phone on the bed and stomped back to the bathroom. The phone started to ring but I ignored it, and pulled open the pantry closet to find a towel. My face was composed as I washed Nessie and pulled the plug to let the water out of the tub. Half an hour later Nessie and I were dressed and we walking out the door. I planned to run to the house and drive Nessie over to Charlies for the day. I knew he would love to spend the day with Nessie and he wouldn't ask questions.

Half way to the main house a giant reddish brown wolf skidded to a halt right in front of me. Nessie's arms clung to my neck harder at the sudden stop. I should have known Jacob wouldn't let this go. I narrowed my eyes at the wolf as he turned and ran behind a tree to phase. He better keep his mouth shut, or he was going to figure out just how strong I really am. When Jacob walked out from behind the trees in only his shorts I glared at him. He walked forward with his hands held up in surrender.

"Easy Bella, I was just coming to pick Nessie up. I tried to call you back but you didn't answer."

"I wonder why" I said, still glaring at him.

"Look, I know it's not my business when you are having problems at..."

My eyes went wide and I hissed at Jacob. Nessie had no idea that her father and I were fighting and Jacob needed to keep his mouth shut. I looked down at Nessie and then back to Jacob. That's when he finally caught on.

"um..." he shuddered. "Hey, you ready to get to the beach little monster?" he asked with fake excitement. I rolled my eyes at the sudden change of subject and pulled Nessie away from my chest.

"Be good for Jacob baby, and When you are ready to come home, Your daddy will come and pick you up OK?" I asked her beautiful brown eyes. She touched my cheek and told me she loved me, before I walked over and handed her over to Jake.

"Keep her safe for me Jake. I will call later on today and check on her."

He nodded as Nessie wrapped her arms around his neck. "uh...good luck..today."

"Thanks," I replied. Jacob turned and started running back toward La Push.

So here I stood. Half way between my empty cottage and the main house. I could either be a cowered and go back to the cottage, or get it over with and head to the main house. I knew they would all be there waiting for me. I laughed without humor as I thought about the beautiful family waiting in the huge mansion. Even though I was a Cullen now, I had never felt like more of an outsider. I didn't know if it was my doing, by pushing everyone away or if they truly didn't think of me as an equal member of the family. With a deep sigh I turned toward the main house. I knew Alice could see me standing in the middle of the Forrest like an idiot.

The back door came into view and I could hear soft murmuring. I was right. Everyone was there. When I reached the backdoor, I turned the handle and opened the door, stepping inside. What I saw in the huge living room almost made me chuckle. On one couch sat Carlisle, Edward, Jasper. Emmett sat in a chair beside the guys couch. On the other couch sat Alice, Rosalie and Esme. The girls looked up when I entered and smiled at me. Edward was the only one of the guys to make eye contact with me. His eyes were dark from not hunting, and his face was sad. I immediately tore my eyes away from his before I broke down and crawled into his lap. Walking forward silently, I sat in the empty chair that completed the living room.

Alice was the first one to speak. She stood and walked around to the back of the couch the women sat on.

"Alright, now that the whole family is here we can finally start. I assume Nessie is with Jake today since I can't see her?," she ended looking at me. I nodded but kept silent.

"Alright everyone, let me set the rules for this family meeting. Everyone will keep there voices down. There will be no shouting, or screaming. Everyone will stay seated where they are, and last but not least, when someone is speaking nobody will interrupt understood?" Everyone, including me nodded.

I loved Alice, I really did. I dreaded coming here this morning because I thought it was going to be awkward trying to have a conversation about what happened yesterday. She made everything easy for me. She took the reins and calmed some of my fears. This was going to awkward no matter what, but I was a little less stressed.

"Bella," Alice started again. "Everyone knows what happened here yesterday and how much you were hurt by it. I just want to say I'm sorry I didn't see it in time to stop it. None the less, The guys know they were wrong and each of them have something to sat to you. Emmett will be the first one to start."

Everyone's eyes shifted to Emmett, and I had to clench my teeth to keep from smiling. He looked like someone had kicked his puppy as his eyes shifted around the room. When Rosalie made a little sound in her throat his eyes flew to hers and her eyes narrowed at him. With a deep sigh Emmett's eyes finally landed on me.

"Um...Bella, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I know you are still fairly new to this family and I should have been more respectful to your relationship. It is true that when us guys are together we talk about our personal lives. Usually yours and Edward's relationship is off limits because you are both so shy. I k now that your honeymoon was the first time for both of you, and it was probably scary and awkward." He stopped, seeming to search for words. "The point is Bella, we shouldn't have been talking about it. It's private and I am so, so sorry."

Emmett ended his speech and looked over to Alice, I assumed to make sure he said the right things. When she nodded he sat back in his chair and sighed with relief. The corner of my mouth twitched slightly with the smile I was holding back with all my strength. I could only imagine what Rosalie put him through all night after I left.

"Alright, Jasper your up next." Alice said.

Jasper took a deep breath and brought his eyes up to mine. I could almost feel his nervousness surround me.

"Bella, I have a lot to apologize for, and I am not only talking about last night."

I knew where this was going and I wanted to stop him, but that would be breaking the rules.

"Let me start with your eighteenth birthday. That was suppose to be a day of celebration. Edward had finally found someone to love and we were going to celebrate your birth. I know what happened was an accident and you have told me before that it wasn't my fault. I disagree. You gave yourself a simple paper cut and I almost killed you..." Was I the only one who noticed Edward flinch? "...I totally lost control of who I am. I am truly sorry for what happened at your party, and for everything that happened in the months that followed. Did anyone see me flinch?

"As for last night-I know I said some things that hurt your feelings. I don't think I need to bring them up individually, I just want to say I am very sorry I was disrespectful to you. Despite what you might think, I do love you as my sister."

I wanted to cry again.

"Bella, your phone will ring in 23 seconds." Alice said after Jasper was done. I looked at the phone to see that time had flown by and it was almost eleven. When the phone rang, it was Jacob's number.

"Hello" I answered.

"Hi Momma, Jake told me that I should call and tell you that I made a sand castle on the beach. It has a moat and a dragon and everything. Jake tried to make one as pretty as mine, but I stepped on it."

Everyone in the room chuckled, including me.

"That's great baby, are you having fun with Jake?" I asked.

"Yep, he got tired of chasing me so we came back to his house to watch some cartoons. He dialed the number and gave me the phone and...I think he is asleep on the couch now"

Everyone laughed again.

"Do you want to come now?" I asked her. I didn't like her being there unsupervised. There was no telling what she could get into while Jake was asleep.

"No, I wanna stay. Billy said he would make me something to eat and he would watch cartoons with me. Can I stay mama?" She was so adorable, I couldn't help but smile. Edward was smiling too, even though his eyes were on his feet.

"Sure sweetheart, you can stay. Just make sure you are good for Billy and tell Jake to call me when he wakes up OK?"

"I will. Mama?" Nessie asked

"yes" I replied.

"Can I talk to dad?"

"Um...Yes, of course, I love you baby and make sure you are good for billy." I said before standing and handing my phone to Edward.

"Hello sweetheart" Edward said into the phone, his voice not showing the tension from the room.

"Hi Dad," Nessie exclaimed excited. "I missed you this morning. How come you weren't home when I woke up?"

The room was deathly silent. I closed my eyes and brought my fingers up to message my temples. So much for this not being awkward.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there honey, Uncle Jasper and Emmett and I went hunting and we just got home a little while ago." Edward lied.

"Oh, Okay," Nessie replied. "I think mama was sad this morning when I woke up. I told her she just needed to talk to you, cause you always make me feel better when I'm sad"

I couldn't stand this. The room was silent again and my throat felt thick She was so innocent and sweet, while everything around her seemed to be falling apart. I couldn't stand sitting still anymore, so I broke one of Alice's rules and stood from my chair. I turned and walked to the back wall. If I was standing here looking out at the Forrest then nobody would see my bottom lip trembling. I never should have kept Edward away from our home. I was selfish and didn't even think about what Nessie would think.

"I suppose your mama was a little sad honey, we don't like to be away from each other for very long. We are both here now though, so don't worry."

I tried to bring my hands up to cover my face before my breath turned ragged, but I was sure everyone heard it, and now everyone knew I was crying.

"Will you be home tonight, Daddy?" Nessie asked him. I didn't turn around.

"I will be there to read you a story and tuck you in sweetheart, don't worry." Edward sidestepped her question.

Would he be home tonight?

Did I want him to stay at home?

I didn't have any answers yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think.


	3. Explinations

Change comes like a little wind that ruffles the curtains at dawn, and it comes like the stealthy perfume of wildflowers hidden in the grass.

-John Steinbeck

B POV

The view of the Forrest from the Cullen's back yard was beautiful. The lush green trees and bird's chirping happily usually put me in a good mood. The deep woodsy smell of the trees and the scent of fresh cut grass always seemed to calm me. None of those things were comforting to me today.

Nobody tried to stop me when I walked away from the back wall and stepped out into the back yard. Edward, and Nessie were still talking on the phone. She was trying to come up with ways for Edward to cheer me up. She suggested buying me flowers and I had to smile. She suggested that Edward play his piano for me, and I laid my forehead against the glass wall with my eyes closed. Edward listened and chuckled with every suggestion. When Nessie told Edward that he shouldn't hunt anymore with out me, because it makes me too sad – That is when I stepped outside.

I was the reason he had to lie to her and I felt horrible. Nessie has never woken up without both Edward, and I there together. How could I be so selfish? Sure, I was angry with Edward but I had unintentionally taken it out on my daughter by keeping him away from our home. I know how worried Edward gets when we are not together, I can only imagine how he felt when I made him stay away from not only me, but our daughter as well.

I had been walking around the back yard for a few minutes when I came upon a patch of Freesia that Esme had planted at Edward's request. He always told me that I had a very floral scent and Freesia was the closest he could come to explaining how I smelled to him. Crouching down I very lightly ran my fingers over the soft purple petals. Lowering my self onto my knees, I reached down almost to the ground and picked one of the long stems. Closing my eyes I brought the flower up to my nose and inhaled deeply. I hoped Esme wouldn't be mad that I took one of her flowers but I wanted take in the scent fully so maybe I could understand.

As the scent blossomed in my nose, I felt myself smiling and almost humming. It was amazing because I always thought that Edward smelled wonderful. His scent was a mix of vanilla and wildflowers, and more often then not, my mouth would water whenever he was close enough for his scent to fully wrap around me. With the freesia still under my nose and my eyes still closed, my mind drifted to the day before. The meadow has always been a special place for Edward and me, and even though I was there alone I still felt complete. A smile played on my lips as it donned on me that the meadow was full of beautiful wildflowers. It was as though Edward were laying beside me, silently watching me read, or gently running his hands through my hair as the wind blew around me.

If I had just stayed in the meadow a little longer...or read a little bit more of my favorite book, or even stopped to smell the wildflowers; I knew that I wouldn't be where I am right now. The distance between Edward and me was killing me.

"Bella?"

Startled, my eyes flew open and my surroundings came into focus again. I still sat in the middle of the beautiful garden with one of Esme's freesia in my hand. I turned my head to see that Esme was kneeling beside me. Her eyes were sad, but she had a gentle smile on her face. Very slowly she reached over and took the flower from my hand, and brought it up to her nose.

"I was sitting here in this very garden almost four years ago," Esme whispered, as she very gently touched the petals of the freesia. I didn't know what she was talking about, so I stayed quiet.

"I was a little depressed because one of my children was lost and hurting. I thought working in my garden might take my mind off of everything."

Now I was really confused. I tried to think about what was going on four years ago.

"The week before started as any other. All of the children dressed and went to school. All but one of them returned."

Esme held out the flower to me and I took it into my hand again. She clasped her hands together and laid them in her lap. Her face held a small smile as she looked at me again.

"I still remember that day like it was yesterday. The children filed into the house after school and instead of heading off in different directions, they all stayed in the living room. I had been in my room painting happily, when suddenly my mood turned somber. I decided to go downstairs and see what was wrong."

Esme's face transformed into the most beautiful smile.

"Turns out, that very same day a new student started at Forks High school. She had just moved to town from Arizona and she was the police chiefs daughter."

Esme chuckled as my eyes grew wide.

"Alice told me how beautiful you were, and how your face flushed bright red the moment you set eyes on Edward."

My smile was involuntary as I lowered my head and my hair fell around my face.

"Alice said, the moment Edward set eyes on you, she knew. You were the one who would finally tear down all those walls Edward had built around his heart. You were the one who could teach him that he was worthy of loving someone else."

My bottom lip trembled as Esme reached over and pulled the curtain of my hair back and swept it back over my shoulder.

"I was so excited that Edward had finally found you and I wanted to talk to him. That was when Alice told me what happened in your Biology class. She said it was a very close call, and immediately after, he left for Denali," Esme sighed. "I was devastated."

I could only imagine what it was like to lose a child. I would be devastated too.

"Anyway," she said, shaking off the sad part of her story. "So a week later here I sat, in my garden. I was depressed and wondering how long it would be before Edward came home. I knew everyone was missing Edward as much as I was."

"I had just stuck a rose bush into the ground when I looked up to see Edward come out the back door to the house. I was the only one home at the time so Edward came outside to find me. He looked happy to be home, but I could tell there was something on his mind, as he walked over and sat down right next to me. He didn't say anything for a long time, so I continued to plant my roses. Content to just have him home."

Esme turned to look at her freesia again

"After a while he did finally speak...his voice was only a whisper when he asked me if it would be too much trouble to plant some freesia. I didn't know why he would want such a specific flower, but I didn't question him. The next day I planted these," She motioned to the patch of purple flowers in front of us.

"The day Edward brought you to meet us, I found out why Edward wanted me to plant freesia."

We both laughed.

All the anger and sadness seemed so trivial after hearing Esme's story. Edward and I have fought so hard from the very beginning just to stay together. It seemed at the time, in the very beginning that everything was trying to keep us apart. Out of control vans, James, Victoria, Jacob, my father, my birthday party - All things that could have torn us apart. But we survived, and I wasn't about to let something as stupid as a conversation about our honeymoon keep us apart anymore. No more running away, no more excuses.

"I think I'm ready to go back in now," I told Esme. She nodded her head and we stood.

Edward POV

When this is all over I am going to tear Emmett limb from limb and bury each of his body parts in different parts of the world.

Our "Bonding" night had started out so well. We played video games and chatted with each other for hours. We talked about our lives and just bonded with each other. It was very rare that we all were together at once. I was missing Bella, but I was having a good time. Then of course Emmett and his immaturity showed it self again. He started talking about sex. Sex with Rosalie to be specific. He talked about different positions, and parts of the house that they "graced" when nobody was home. For the most part I ignored him, but it was a little hard for me because with each story he told I was graced with a visual.

Of course Jasper wasn't shy about his sex life and I got visuals of his sex life as well. I saw things in there minds that one should never see about their brothers and sisters. Emmett and Jasper talked and laughed and Carlisle and I just played our game trying to block them out. Carlisle, being our father figure, never participated in those type of conversations. For the most part he would roll his eyes and smile, but stayed out of it.

After a while Emmett started taunting me about my sex life. I ignored him, but then Jasper started taunting me too.

"Come on Edward we both know Bella has to be a spitfire in bed" Emmett said. I gritted my teeth.

"I have felt nothing but lust from that girl for years Edward, Tell me, did she ravish you on your honeymoon? Jasper said. My hands balled into fists, but still I said nothing.

Carlisle studiously ignored everything they said, now flipping through the channels on the TV. He settled on CNN and we started listening to the stories from around the world. Then one of the stories from the TV set them off. Evidently some golfer who was very popular in America was cheating on his wife. The news anchor said he had dozens of girlfriends all over the country and some of them were strippers. I was a little disgusted. How could someone with that much money and popularity cheat on his wife? How could he send text messages and call those women, knowing he had a wife and children at home?

"Stripper huh?" Emmett said. "I bet she was a spitfire in bed huh Edward?" Emmett said. Still I ignored him.

"Hey Jazz, I bet Bella tied our little Eddie here to the bed and had her way with him." Emmett said dissolving into laughter..

I was starting to get angry, so Carlisle, being the peace keeper, stood and turned the X box back on to try and distract them. It didn't work though.

"I bet the minute they walked into the house she tore his close off and they didn't even make it to the bed." Jasper said.

"No, no..I got it, I bet our little Eddie couldn't wait till they got to the bed. I think he threw her down the minute they made land right there on the sand." Both of them burst out laughing again. That was it. I jumped to my feet and stood over them fuming.

"For your information Emmett" I spat at him. "We did none of those things. You wanna know what really happened? The minute I took Bella into the house and she saw the huge bed, she Froze solid..."

Thus began the conversation of doom. They were going to die painfully.

I looked up when I heard Bell and Esme coming in the backdoor. They were both smiling and Bella was holding one of Esme's freesia flowers.

"Everything is going to be fine Edward, You'll see." Esme told me in her mind. I didn't turn to look at her though. I couldn't take my eyes off Bella. She seemed almost happy. When she left the house as I was talking to Nessie, I knew she had been crying. I wondered what had happened to make her so happy.

Alice stood, I guessed so she could call this "Family meeting" back to order, but before she could say anything Bella stood and walked over to me. She smiled and handed me the freesia, and then she walked back to her chair and sat down.

"It's Okay, Alice, I can take it from here," Bella said. "I just want this to be over." Alice sat back down and Bella stood. She took a deep breath and looked at all of our faces smiling.

"Alright everyone I have a few apologies I need to make before we talk about yesterday. First I want to say I'm sorry to all of you. This whole thing was blown out of proportion when I acted like a baby and ran to La Push. I shouldn't have been listening to a private conversation and I definitely shouldn't have ran. I am an adult and a mother and it was very childish and I'm sorry."

"Is she really apologizing to US for what we said yesterday?" Jasper asked me in his mind.

"Is she really apologizing for these idiots? Man, I have got to teach her how to punish her husband when he is an idiot." Came from Rosalie.

"This seems too easy. How could she be so angry and suddenly she is the one apologizing?" Carlisle thought.

"Emmett and Jasper, I wanted to thank you for what you said earlier. You're my brothers and I love you both, along with Alice and Rose. You all drive me crazy sometimes, but I love you anyway." Bella smiled beautifully when they chuckled.

"Jasper," Bella said with a sigh, her smile fading " I want you to listen to me very closely OK? I am going to tell you something and then I don't ever want to talk about it again." Jasper nodded. "You are not to blame for what happened at my eighteenth birthday party. Look, I know I gave myself a paper cut and you lost control. If you want to blame someone, lets just blame both of us. I was being a baby because I hate accepting gifts and I wasn't being careful. You were just doing what is in your nature to do when you smell blood. I don't blame you. I never did. Not once was I ever angry at you."

God I love her. My beautiful Bella is always so forgiving. I knew Jasper would never forgive himself for what happened, but to Bella is wasn't necessary. It was me who who over reacted and took my family away from her. How she was able to forgive me I will never know. Suddenly Bella's eyes flashed to mine and she almost looked angry.

"Stop it right now Edward," My eyes widened. Did I just say that out loud? "I know what your thinking, and I want you to stop. That part of our life is over so stop beating yourself up about it right now do yo hear me?" I nodded at her and smiled. She may not be able to read my mind but she was very perceptive and she knew what I would be thinking.

"Alright, now to you Emmett," She smiled and shook her head. "I have resigned myself to hearing sexual innuendos from you for eternity, as my brother I would expect nothing less, that is just who you are. But..." Bella trailed off and her smile faded "I would just ask that my honeymoon be off limits." Emmett nodded and looked down as if her were just scolded by his mother. And then her beautiful golden eyes turned to me.

Her mood since coming back into the house seemed lighter, but I knew that she was still angry with me. Well...maybe not angry, but definitely disappointed. Hell I was disappointed in myself. I never should have let Emmett and Jasper goad me into talking about our sex life. I stood firm in my decision. Emmett and Jasper would die painfully just as soon as this was over and I had my wife back.

"You touch my Jazz Edward and I will make your life a living hell." Alice growled at me in her mind. I had to fight off a smile.

"Edward" Bella said with a slight smile on her lips.

"I love you. Always"

"I love you, too" I whispered. And, of course I hear a chorus of "Awww's" in my head from my family.

"Where do I start..." She pretended to think about it for a second.

"Okay, so I need to tell you how sorry I am for not letting you come home last night. At the time I was angry and I felt really betrayed. I really did just want to be alone. I didn't even stop to think about Nessie. I'll admit I was being a brat and I was wrong. We have promised her since she was born that we would always be there for her, and I didn't realize how wrong I was until she woke up this morning asking for you. And when I had to lie to her, I felt worse. It wont ever happen again. No matter how angry we are at each other, Nessie will always come first."

Watching Bella and Nessie walk out the door last night, and knowing that I wasn't allowed to come home with them almost killed me. I knew it was my fault, but we hadn't spent a night apart since Nessie was born and I didn't know what to do with myself. After everyone had retired to their bedrooms for the night, I wondered around the huge house lost. I could hear my family throughout the night feeling sorry for me, but I blocked them out.

I was mad at myself mostly. Once Emmett and Jasper got me talking, my mouth seemed to have a mind of it's own. I cringed when I remembered what I had said about Jacob. I'm sure Bella knew how much I detested him. My hatred of Jacob had cooled since the wedding, into a strong dislike. Anyone who played with Bella's emotions for his own personal gain like Jacob had, would never fully be a friend too me. I have accepted him as a permanent fixture in our lives now since Nessie was born, but that didn't mean that I had to like it or him. My worry was Bella. Her friendship with him had never once faltered. She was so forgiving and loving with everyone around her, that she was almost blind to the mind games that Jacob played with her.

"Edward, I need you to understand why I was so angry last night. You said a lot of things and I will get to all of them, but I want to start with our honeymoon," She was very serious now.

"You have to understand that I am not angry that you were talking about our sex life. You were with your...family," her eyes briefly flashed to Carlisle. "As I am sure you heard Emily say last night, when guys get together they talk about things that they don't talk about when their wives are around. I accept that you will sometimes talk about our personal lives with your brothers. What I don't accept is you talking about our honeymoon."

Flashes of me burying Emmett's arm and Jasper's foot played in my mind. "Edward!" Alice growled again in my head. I had to clench my teeth to fight off a smile. Her vision showed that I still had not given up tearing my brothers apart.

"Our honeymoon Edward was very special to me, as I am sure it was for you as well. But, too me it meant more then just being your wife. The first thing I heard last night was you telling Emmett that I froze when I first saw the bed. I can understand it would have seemed funny to you, but I don't think you fully understand what was actually going through my head at the time. You can't read my mind so I take some of the responsibility for that. Let me try and explain..."

Bella and I were so focused on each other that the rest of my family seemed to fade into the background. They were still in the room, but we were our own world. I don't know if Bella was using her shield on everyone, but I wasn't hearing anyone's thoughts in my head.

"Edward, when you carried me over the threshold and set me down next to the bed...it was like suddenly everything hit me at once. I had been so lost, for so long Edward. It all happened so fast. Here I was, plain Jane Bella moving to this small town with my father. And then I met you. My life seemed to move in fast forward. For some reason this extremely beautiful man thought I was something to be adored, and of course I fell for you. It didn't matter that you were dangerous. It didn't matter to me that you could slip one day and my life could be over. It didn't matter.

"Then you were gone..." My eyes slipped closed. "You were gone Edward. You told me that I would forget, that I would eventually move on. I knew it wasn't true, but at the time as I stood there, watching you saying goodbye to me...I froze. I kept telling myself I was suppose to cry, or scream or plead with you not to leave me, but I couldn't."

My eyes flew open when her voice cracked. She had never told me any of this. I wanted to go to her and pull her into my arms, but I knew that she needed to get it all out.

"I didn't leave my room for a week. I didn't talk to Charlie, or go to school or eat even. It was totally unfathomable to me that you were gone... Ugh... Anyway," She said, standing from her chair shaking the memory from her mind.

"You get the point... I was heartbroken. So that was when my friendship with Jacob started. I needed someone to help me take my mind off the pain. I needed a reason to get up in the morning. His friendship saved me. Without Jacob in my life, I'm not totally sure I would be sitting here right now. I knew pretty early on that Jacob had feelings for me that were beyond friendship. I told him that I didn't have the same feelings, but I was selfish enough to not let him go. It was my fault the things that happened with Jacob. His feelings for me grew every day, and I could see it. I don't say this to hurt you Edward, but I needed him. I need his warm smile and his companionship and friendship, because when I was alone in my room at night that pain...it was... well anyway."

"Then suddenly you were back. You were back in my life telling me that it was all a lie, that you did love me and you wanted me forever. Things were back to the way they were suppose to be. But we weren't totally healed. We argued over my change, we argued over our physical boundaries, but most of all we argued over Jacob. And then Victoria came back to reek havoc on our lives again. I know how strong you all were and the wolves, but I worried a lot about someone getting hurt.

"I couldn't stand the thought of you getting hurt because of me. I knew Rosalie hated me even more, having to stand guard over my house, and my scent caused Jasper pain because I was here so much. And there was Jacob. I hurt you so much every time I insisted on seeing him, even though I knew we would spend the whole time talking about you. He kept telling me he was the better choice, and that he could love me better then you could. He played with my emotions a lot and never failed to remind me that he was the one who was there for me when you couldn't be. I was stupid and selfish because I wanted both of you in my life. I didn't realize that I was hurting you both

"And, Then I kissed him right before the newborn battle. You told me that Jacob played me, when he told me he would kill himself so I was free to be with you, but there is something that I never told you about that kiss. This may hurt a little to hear, but I need to explain."

I sat there on the couch between my brothers, dumbfounded. I didn't expect Bella to lay out our lives in front of everyone like she did. My family sat around me shocked. I knew there were things that Bella kept from me because she didn't want to worry me and now the flood gates seemed to be opened.

"When I kissed him Edward, I saw it. I saw everything. I saw Jacob and I married. I saw us living out our lives on the reservation. I saw us growing old together watching our kids playing in the front yard. It was the life that he always promised we could have, if I were willing to let you go. I knew pretty much instantaneously that my feelings for Jacob were more then friendship."

Nobody was more glad that then I was that Bella couldn't hear the almost audible gasp from my family. It was all in their minds. There thoughts, that had been blocked from my mind throughout Bella's conversation, suddenly bombarded me at once. They were all shocked, and surprisingly some of them were even angry. Most of them had never known the depth of her love for Jacob. I almost smiled at Rosalie's thoughts.

"I finally had to admit to myself that Jacob was more then a friend to me. You both knew it all along but I was too stupid to see it. I know I hurt you when I kissed him, and I hurt you even more when I admitted my feelings for Jacob. You were both waiting for me to make a choice between the two of you. But the truth is, the choice was made long before we shared our first kiss Edward. The first time I admitted to myself that I was in love with you, I knew that you were where my life was going to be. Nothing could change that.

"As I told Jacob after the Battle, I only fought my feelings for him because I knew that it wouldn't change anything. Yes, I loved him, but I knew I would never love him as much as I love you. So, in the end, a choice wasn't necessary. The only thing left to do was letting him go."

Bella took a deep breath and sat back down in her chair.

"I guess my point in telling you all of this is – When you carried me though the house on Isle Esme, and sat me down, it all hit me at once. Suddenly I had everything I ever wanted. I was a wife and we were finally going to be together without boundaries. I was a Cullen," She smiled beautifully. "There was no more pain and confusion, no more worrying about hunting vampires or Jealous wolves. Nothing else mattered in that moment but you and me. It was the start of our forever.

"Our honeymoon is where you gave me our daughter. The child I never knew I wanted."

Bella stood from her chair and held out her hand to me. Quickly I stood and went to her. I took her hand and squeezed gently. I had missed touching her so much and the soft skin of her hand brought a smile to my face.

"When you and I stood next to that bed Edward," Bella whispered. "I will admit I was a little scared. I had wanted you for so long, and finally I was going to have you. It was exciting and scary at the same time. I know that you had to have been terrified of hurting me, and it was going to be your first time as well. Everything turned out amazing. Do you understand that our honeymoon isn't, and never will be, a joke to me?"

Her eyes were so beautiful I couldn't resist reaching out and touching her cheek.

"Yes, I understand Bella," I said. "Our honeymoon was everything to me, and I am so sorry."

The smile that spread across Bella's face turned my world right side up again.

"I love you, Edward," She whispered, and then she stepped forward into my arms and rested her head on my chest.

"I love you, too, Bella. Always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end. Let me know what you think.


End file.
